2019

We all love a new year. We all bid the previous year farewell, often with a “don’t let the door hit you on the way out!” This new year is going to be MY year, we proudly exclaim. Three months in, we’re already bummed out about what the new year has actually meant. Nothing actually changes unless we do. People we love die. Things don’t go according to plan. Life is hard. Every. Single. Year.

The last year I actually made resolutions was 2016. Lose weight, budget better, succeed in business, organize my time. The same big goals (with very minor variations) I had attempted to achieve each prior year. I won some, I lost some. In 2017, I decided to forgo the tired trope of self-fulfilling failure and made no resolutions. In fact, I actively mocked the idea of resolving to be a different person simply because one number had changed on the calendar. I know who I am. It’s not a “new year, new me”. I’m the same person deep inside that I have always been. The work to change and grow is important, but it’s important ALL THE TIME. Not just when the clock strikes midnight. Yay.

For 2018, I embraced the “word of the year” trend. I wanted to intentionally choose one word that I could apply to these facets of my life. A straightforward word to bridge the gaps between who I am and who I want to be. I chose “strong”. I thought it was applicable everywhere. Be strong in my resolve to achieve whatever goals I set. Have strength in the face of challenges within my relationships, my business. Moving away from the cursed number on the scale and working on my physical strength. Like all things, there was an ebb and flow with my word. I do feel like it helped to have one simple concept to which to return if ever I lost my way. Be strong. Things are hard, but be strong and overcome.

Although my arm muscles are the weakest they have ever been, I feel good about my inaugural attempt at a word of the year. For 2019, I’m doing it this way once more. I have some big ideas and plans and projects going forward, and I’m going to use my word of the year to bring me back to center as often as I can remember.

While listening to a podcaster talk about their personal goals, on a piece of paper beside my laptop, I scribbled “new word”. Because my brain has been all over the place recently, I wrote down “focus”. But that won’t work. Sometimes, one has to let go of focus to branch out and find something new that may or may not work. “Experiment”. Too chaotic for me. “Motivation”. Too cliché and broad to actually do any good for me. “Confidence”. Confidence is something with which I have struggled for a very long time, nigh on my entire life. Here and there, I feel confident, but more often than not, it’s just the absence of shame rather than a true belief in myself. While it can be a helpful tool in many areas of my life, it’s too daunting at the moment. And then, it came to me.

“Empower”. My word for 2019 is “empower”. It brings all the things together. It honestly makes me emotional just thinking about what that means to and for me. I can use it to broaden my intent of being strong, but I can build on more with it as well. Empower my friends, empower my marriage, empower my children. Empower myself to build upon what I have already built. Empower whoever and whatever I can, including my arm muscles.

Happy New Year, folks. Here’s to continuing to kick ass and rise the fuck up.

 

I’m Bad At Blogging

I’m bad at blogging. This fact has been established. I don’t think it’s because I don’t like writing or because I don’t have moderately researched opinions. It’s not because I think I’m boring. (I really don’t.) It may be a little bit because I’m afraid to fail at yet another thing (the measure of failure being that it’s not a booming success quickly).

It’s probably because I have watched videos and read articles and listened to podcasts and subscribed to newsletters all purporting to have the magical answer to how to run a successful money-earning blog. They tell me (rather vaguely actually) what I need to do, and following those rules kinda sorta bum me out.

I just want to talk about what everyone actually wants to talk about: myself. The dumb things my kids say and the things I’m excited about that have nothing to do with anything. I just want to talk and connect and be fucking real.  Because that’s how I am with everything in real life. Why would I try to tailor myself online just to get clicks? Oh, I remember now: income. That’s right… Oh well. I’m clearly not doing it any other way, so let’s give this a whirl.

Maybe my readers read through nodding their heads yelling “preach!” sometimes. Maybe they adamantly, viscerally don’t relate. Maybe a reaction in between. And that’s just perfect for me.

When I had a motherhood blog (some of you might remember) back in 2010-2012ish, it was largely about my kids. Now that I have a blog attached to my platform as an artist, my brain wants it to be mostly art stuff with some life sprinkled in that makes me “relatable” to my audience. I feel like I might not have enough of just one thing to talk about one hundred percent, so I’m going to talk about all the things. Why the heck not?

See you soon.